This Isn't Good-Bye

[twileighplants]

Title: This isn't a Good-Bye
Fandom(s): Sk8 the Infinity
Ship(s): matchablossom, nanjo kojiro x sakurayashiki kaoru
Rating: General Audiences
Additional Tags:
Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking, ten years apart, Minor Character Death Mention
Summary: Kojiro nodded and headed over to the bar, taking in the customer’s back. He was sitting up straight, long pink hair tied to the side and he was wearing a blue-gray kimono.

For a moment, Kojiro was thrown back to graduation and the kimono his best friend wore the night of their graduation celebration.

Shaking his head, he didn’t need to be thinking about that right now, he needed to be professional and handle a potentially upset customer.

—

This isn’t a good-bye this is a see you later

It was a normal day like any for Kojiro. He woke up at five-thirty to his alarm, in which he blindly looked for his phone so he could turn it off.

Once the alarm was no longer blaring into the silence, he checked his text messages, answering the more important ones before moving on to emails. If he didn’t have any emails that were in regards to Sia la Luce, he’d scroll through social media until it was pertinent that he left his bed.

After finishing up in the bathroom, Kojiro would grab his workout clothes, slip them on and then head to the kitchen to make a protein shake before going on his morning jog.

His morning jogs took a half hour, as he ran to the park and then around it before heading back to his apartment. Sometimes he’d stop by the fresh market and pick up ingredients for breakfast, but those days were usually on his days off, as he had more time to himself in the morning.

When he arrived home, Kojiro went straight to his bathroom to shower. Once he was showered and dressed he headed back down to the kitchen to make his breakfast and prepare his lunch.

With breakfast eaten and his lunch stored in the fridge to be made when he came home in between lunch and dinner hours, he headed to Sia la Luce to prepare for Lunch.

It was in the middle of Dinner hours that Kojiro’s normal day turned into an unusual one. As he was in the middle of marinating shrimp for a pasta dish, one of the waiters maneuvered through the kitchen to get to him.

“Chef Nanjo, there is a customer here who’d like to speak with you?” Yuki said as he tapped Kojiro’s shoulder.

Glancing over at his hands and the shrimp he had been handling, he grimaced, “Will you inform them that I will be out in just a moment? I need to finish this dish,” he said.

Yuki nodded before heading back out to the lobby.

“Here boss, I got it.” Ami, Kojiro’s sous-chef, chimed in. She waited for Kojiro to lift his hands and took the bowl and started to mix the shrimp in the marinade.

“Lemon soap is underneath the sink,” Ami then said as Kojiro headed towards the back where the sinks were.

With his hands washed and smelling like lemon rather than shrimp, Kojiro went out to greet the customer, putting on his best ‘I’m the owner and I’m terribly sorry about your meal, how can we compensate you?’ smile.

Yuki pointed to the bar where the customer was sitting before going back to whatever task he was currently focusing on.

Kojiro nodded and headed over to the bar, taking in the customer’s back. He was sitting up straight, long pink hair tied to the side and he was wearing a blue-gray kimono.

For a moment, Kojiro was thrown back to graduation and the kimono his best friend wore the night of their graduation celebration.

Shaking his head, he didn’t need to be thinking about that right now, he needed to be professional and handle a potentially upset customer.

He approached the counter and realized both the plate and glass of wine that sat in front of his customer was empty. Though, it wasn’t uncommon for unruly customers to try and get free food by ‘complaining’ about their order after they had finished it.

“Excuse me, my name is Nanjo Kojiro and I’m the owner of this restaurant. My waiter said you'd like to speak with me. How may I be of service to you?” he asked.

The gentleman at the bar seemed to freeze upon hearing Kojiro’s name and slowly turned to him. Wide citrine eyes stared into carnelian ones as Kojiro realized who had summoned him.

“Kaoru?”

We should break up.

Kojiro couldn't hear anything beyond the words that were playing over and over in his head. He could hear the way his heart dropped into his stomach and broke into a million pieces.

“Kojiro?” somehow, despite the words that just ripped Kojiro to shreds, Kaoru’s a beacon of light in the darkness that’s trying to overcome him. He fought against the urge to reach out to Kaoru, to take his hand and pull him against his body.

He just stared at Kaoru, his brain feeling fuzzy and his body feeling cold as he tried to muster something, anything to say. When he finally found the words, all that came out was a broken, cracked ‘Why?’

Kaoru has the decency to look just as brokenhearted as Kojiro felt as he tried to find the words to say.

“You’re leaving for Italy in a week. When you were in Tokyo, that was hard, but Italy? It’s a whole different country! We’re going to be in two different time zones… I want us to stay friends and maybe, if things aren’t different, maybe we can try again when you come back,” he said.

Looking down at the ground so Kaoru didn’t see the tears that were starting to form in his eyes, Kojiro sucked on his teeth before looking up at Kaoru. He felt defeated when he saw the tears that had been rolling down his cheeks; at how heartbroken he looked.

This wasn’t easy on Kaoru either.

And maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Spending time apart. How did the saying go? Fondness makes the heart grow fonder? Or something like that. Maybe he could convince Kaoru to come visit during break. Maybe after some time apart, they’d come back stronger.

Without speaking, Kojiro just lifted his arms up and Kaoru rushed into them, his body shaking with sobs. Kojiro let out a shaky sigh himself as tears escaped his eyes. He buried his face into Kaoru’s hair/

“I’m going to miss you so much. We have to stay in touch. So much so that we get tired of each other.” Kaoru said, with a small wet sounding chuckle.

Despite the circumstances, Kojiro let out a small chuckle of his own and squeezed Kaoru, “I promise. I could never get tired of you.” he said.

Kaoru squeezed him back and the two stood in each other’s arms as if they knew they weren’t going to be in each other’s futures.

When they parted, Kojiro made Kaoru promise he’d come to the airport to say good-bye. Kaoru sealed it with a pink promise.

The day Kojiro left, Kaoru gave him a parting gift of an apron he embroidered Kojiro’s name on it and a kiss to remember him by.

When he reached his seat, he took a moment to cry.

Breaking eye contact to adjust his glasses (and potentially hide his blush) Kaoru motioned to his empty plate.

“It’s been sometime, hasn’t it?” he let out a small chuckle, “I ordered the mushroom carbonara and as I was eating it, I realized how familiar and wonderful it tasted,” he said softly. He was always one to get straight to the chase.

Kojiro swallowed and nodded, trying to listen to what Kaoru was saying. He certainly wasn’t trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Kaoru was sitting in front of him, after not speaking to each other for ten years.

“I wanted to tell the chef that it reminded me of high school. When my best friend would make it for me as a treat or after a panic attack.” he said. He smiled after a moment, “It was even made the same, with the mushrooms chopped into pieces and a whole one on the top as garnish.”

Kojiro licked at his lips and nodded, “You always complained about the mushroom texture. So after making it like that for you so many times, it just became the way I made it.” he said.

Looking over at Kojiro, Kaoru blushed and nodded, “The wine was spectacular too. I didn’t know you learned how to pair wines together.” he admired.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Kojiro nodded, “Ya, it was a random workshop they offered when I was in Italy. I wanted to include that for my restaurant, if people asked.” he shrugged.

Kaoru lifted his fan and covered his face as he let out a soft chuckle, “Well, it has certainly paid off.” he said.

Kojiro couldn’t help but smile a bit himself, “Thank you.” he said.

Nodding, Kaoru looked around the bar and the lobby, “Your establishment is lovely, by the way. I didn’t know what I expected, but this exceeded my expectations. It’s so warm and welcoming.” he said.

“Thank you again, that really means a lot, coming from you,” Kojiro admitted, trying hard not to beam proudly.

Kaoru gave him a shy smile and nodded, “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to make this a regular dining experience,” he said.

Shaking his head, Kojiro nodded towards his host, “I’d be honored, actually. If there’s a specific seat you’d like to have, just speak with Yuki and he’ll get you settled. I actually need to get back in the kitchen, but it was really great seeing you again Kaoru.” he said truthfully.

“Same to you Kojiro. Before you leave, would it be over stepping to ask to see you later? Again, I mean.” he said, a light blush forming on his face.

Stilling at Kaoru’s request, he stood there for a moment watching Kaoru’s face as he contemplated his request. It wasn’t like there were any hard feelings towards each other, at least, not anymore.

“Yeah, let me grab my card.” Kojiro said. He went to his office to retrieve one of his cards and returned to give it to Kaoru. “Sia la Luce and my cell number are on there.” he said.

“Perfect, I’ll be in touch.” Kaoru confirmed.

Kojiro nodded, “I look forward to it.” he said before heading back to the kitchen.

The rest of the day Kojiro was in a weird foggy daze. He couldn’t think straight, thinking back to seeing Kaoru for the first time in ten years. His daze was so bad he messed up two orders and nearly cut his hand open.

When that happened, Ami dismissed him for the day, reassuring him that she had the rest of dinner under control and that he needed to go home and get some more rest.

As much as he wanted to go home and sleep, Kojiro knew for sure that his mind wouldn’t shut up. So he ended up deep cleaning his apartment, a task that usually helped clear his mind. And it mostly worked.

That is until his phone buzzed as he was in the middle of cleaning off his coffee table. Reaching into his pocket he froze when he saw the familiar number flash across his screen.

He opened the message and let out a small sigh.

Kaoru 🌸: It’s Kaoru, in case you deleted my number... It was really good to see you again. Sia la Luce is amazing. I’m.. really proud of you for fulfilling your dreams.

Kojiro read the message a few times and after the fifth time, he had every intention of just saying thank you and continuing his deep clean, but then his thumbs were moving before he could stop them.

Kojiro 🐯: Can we meet up?

The panic didn’t really set in until Kaoru replied back.

Kaoru 🌸: Sure. Are you free tonight?

Staring at the phone, Kojiro had figured Kaoru would agree and they’d meet up in a few days. But instead Kaoru surprised him and he found that he was surprising himself as he typed out another response.

Kojiro 🐯: I am. We can meet at Toodles? Say around 7?
Kaoru 🌸: 7 is perfect
Kaoru 🌸: I’ll see you then?

Kojiro 🐯: Yeah, see you then.

Staring at the messages, Kojiro then looked at the clock. It was 4:15 now, which meant he had a few hours to kill. He could finish the deep cleaning of his apartment and then get ready.

He spent the next hour and a half finishing his apartment. When he was finished he proceeded to get into a shower and got cleaned.

After his shower, Kojiro found himself standing in front of his closet. He didn’t know what to wear. He could go casual, wear his favorite orange and white striped shirt with some jeans. But then he considered what Kaoru was wearing. A casual yukata with toris.

It seemed that he had traded his alt style for a more traditional look. Would Kaoru be offended if Kojiro showed up in more casual wear? Or should he go for his more professional look? Slacks and a nice button up? He sighed as he flipped through his clothes.

Another twenty minutes passed before he finally settled on something to wear. He went with slacks and a button up shirt, leaving a couple of the buttons undone up top.

With thirty minutes to spare, Kojiro made sure he had everything, scooped a cup of cat food for Gnocchi and locked up. He headed to Toodles and headed inside. He waved to the bartender who greeted him and he took a seat at one of the booths. He ordered himself water for now, deciding to wait for Kaoru to arrive before indulging in alcohol.

He had been waiting for ten minutes when Kaoru walked in.

Kojiro couldn't keep his eyes off him, watching as he looked around the bar. He looked good, sporting a black button up shirt with cherry blossoms dancing up the side, tucked in casual hakama-style pants.

Standing up a bit and waving his arm above his head to catch Kaoru's attention. When Kaoru turned to him, his face lit up with a beautiful smile and the air was knocked out of Kojiro's lungs.

He still had it bad after ten fucking years.

"Hi. I hope I didn't leave you waiting for too long." Kaoru said as he slid into the booth.

Kojiro shook his head, "Nah, I've only been here for about ten minutes." he said.

Kaoru smiled, "First round is on me," he grinned.

After they ordered their drinks, they sat in silence for a few moments.

“How have you been?” Kaoru asked.

Kojiro chewed on his lip as he studied Kaoru. On one hand he wanted to answer the question, see if their relationship handled the test of time and see how easily they fell into old ways.

On the other hand, he had questions of his own. Why they never stayed in touch. Why did Kaoru stop reaching out to him? Why couldn't their friendship handle the aftermath of their break up?

There were so many questions he had on his mind and didn't know where to start.

Looking up at Kaoru he was surprised to find him studying him, a small smile on his face.

"I’ve been…I've been busy working at the restaurant. I became a mentor for some kids I met at 'S' and they seem to like me okay," Kojiro said honestly. That was a good start.

"Oh, S is still running?" Kaoru asked, his face lighting up.

Nodding, Kojiro sat up a bit, "Yeah, Adam made it more into a skater's paradise and closed off the more dangerous parts of the mine. It's actually quite impressive. There's a little 'shop' that hands out drinks and does maintenance for skater's boards and if you forget your board or it breaks, you can borrow one."

Kaoru nodded along with everything Kojiro was saying, asking him questions about S when he found a lull in the conversation.

"So Adam's doing okay?" Kaoru asked.

Kojiro nodded, "His time in America seemed to do him really well. He actually apologized the first time he showed up to 'S'. I was actually surprised. He and his husband come into Sia la Luce from time to time too." he explained.

Leaning back, Kaoru's eyes were wide, "Wow, that's... he's married? And to a man? That's amazing."

Kojiro chuckled and nodded, “To Tadashi. As I said, his time in America did him really well.”

At some point, a waiter brought over their drinks and there was another lull in the conversation.

"Why didn't you reach out? After I left for Italy?" Kojiro took the opportunity to finally ask the question that had been plaguing him. He wasn't going to bring it up at first, but it just came out like word vomit.

Kaoru looked away from Kojiro, eyes focused on his drink, "I...my mom got really sick. I ended up taking care of her for a few years. Between her and school, I hardly had a social life.” he explained.

Guilt washed over Kojiro and he tentatively moved his hand across the table, hesitant to take his ex’s hand.

Kaoru seemed to sense his uncertainty and met him the rest of the way, sliding their hands together.

“It’s okay. You didn’t know and I wasn’t really announcing it. I… didn’t want the sympathy that came with having a sick family member.”

Squeezing Kaoru’s hand gently, Kojiro gave him a sad smile, “You didn’t have to go through that alone.”

Kaoru’s bottom lip started to waver as he squeezed Kojiro’s hand back. He then pulled away to wipe his eyes and mumble an apology, “Thank you.” he said.

From then on, their conversation shifted from topic to topic, only really pausing for them to order more drinks and food.

“Do you want to dance? I need to sweat out some of this alcohol.” Kaoru giggled. He stood up and held his hand out to Kojiro, bouncing on the balls of his feet to usher Kojiro to move faster.

Laughing, Kojiro got up as well and took Kaoru’s hand, allowing him to drag him off to the dance floor. He watched as Kaoru started to dance to the music that was playing overhead.

“Come on, you can’t just stand there!” Kaoru took Kojiro’s hands and started moving them around. He giggled and Kojiro couldn’t help but find it contagious because he started laughing before he started to dance to music too.

After the first upbeat song, Kaoru and Kojiro moved closer, arms wrapping around shoulders as hands settled on waists until they were moving in sync, foreheads pressed against each other.

When the last call of the night was called out, Kaoru and Kojiro made their way back to their booth, “I should head home, I have early meetings in the morning,” Kaoru sighed.

Kojiro chewed on his lip, “Let me walk you out? I should get home too. I have inventory to count.” he chuckled.

“Such exciting lives we lead,” Kaoru teased as he grabbed his things before holding his hand out to Kojiro. They headed out to the parking lot and Kaoru led him to his car.

“It was really nice seeing you today. Thank you for meeting with me tonight.” Kaoru said. He was holding Kojiro’s hand with both hands, rubbing his thumb over the back of his hand.

Kojiro ducked his head and shrugged, “I really enjoyed catching up with you. We…we should do this again sometime. I don’t want us to be strangers anymore.” he said.

“I agree. Can I hug you?” Kaoru asked.

Chuckling, Kojiro opened his arms and Kaoru instantly wrapped his arms around him. They stood like that for a moment before Kaoru pulled away, just a few inches so he could press a kiss to Kojiro’s cheek.

Kojiro was a little surprised by the action but smiled as he turned to Kaoru and caught his mouth in a small kiss.

A startled noise left Kaoru’s mouth, but he leaned into Kojiro’s body and kissed him back, hands resting on his chest.

It was just a simple press of the lips, and when they separated, Kaoru blushed as he buried his face into Kojiro’s chest.

Kojiro chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Kaoru’s shoulders, “I don’t want to let you go.” he said.

“I don’t want you to, either.” Kaoru sighed. He pulled away after a moment with a mischievous look on his face, “Ya know… I could push my meetings to Friday.”

Catching his drift, Kojiro matched his smile, “Ami can handle inventory.” he grinned.

Kaoru grinned as he bit his bottom lip and grabbed Kojiro’s hand and dragged him to his car.